Calligraphy

 

A letter to my future self

    “Replace “I should’ve known better with “now I know better.” Forgive yourself, for self-shame is self-sabotage.”

    Guilt has always been something that’s had a firm hold on me. It haunts me, follows me through my workout routine, sits with me at dinner, and has its own indent in my bed at night. I wish I could feel my skin before it was tainted or look through my mirror before it was cracked.

    But recently, my appetite is back, my skin is bright, and I feel at peace. I have learned that I can fix my broken mirror before helping others. I walked on broken shards for so long, crunching and shattering under my feet. And although I bled every time I picked up the broken shards, it was better than never cleaning them up.

    I am grateful for the love and the loss. I am grateful for every tree I’ve hugged or hidden behind. I am grateful for all life around me. I am even thankful for the lessons I’ve been taught, even if it was agonizing.

    For my older and wiser self, I hope that you keep your mirrors spotless, water your trees, and keep your skin bright. I hope you digest the quote above and understand that self-shame is indeed self-sabotage, and looking forward is the only positive direction to a negative situation. I now know much better and each mistake is not a poor decision, but rather a stepping stone down the river of life. Everything works out; I am confident it has up to that 20-year benchmark. The river is your space to breathe, swim, scream, and dance in. Others’ actions cannot and will not derail your existence if you don’t let them. Be grateful for the short lives we have, for you belong everywhere. And you most definitely deserve it all. 

Personal Notes and Feedback

  This assignment was definitely time-consuming, to say the least. Although this comes from my perfectionist nature and me still not being entirely gratified by the result, I think the time I put into this assignment shows positively. This and the poster assignment handle the essence of inner guilt and the necessity of addressing your past. The quote that this essay and calligraphy are based on is from an inspirational Instagram page I've been following for years. This quote stood out to me recently since I found it relevant to my current life.

   When creating the calligraphy, I used the essay to outline my body and the quote to fill the space within the image. Learning Illustrator has proven to be difficult, but since I spent so much time on this assignment perfecting it, I have learned a lot of the basic skills of the app, which allows me to navigate the harder effects more quickly. If I could redo this assignment, I'd choose an image of myself with less complex clothes and/or a horizontal photo, making creating words in the image easier.